Tuesday, January 6, 2009

break-ups are not cheap

my straight friends would often complain of how expensive it is to keep relationships - dinner at nice restaurants, drive around to far places, and the regular night-outs, not to mention keeping track of all the important dates and burying their minds on which gifts are appropriate with what occasions.

while this is particularly true to all valiant males who would not let their girls pay for a piece of the pie, the best thing about gay relationships is that both guys are on equal footing. of course, i am referring to that symbiotic relationship which is mutualism, not the predator-prey kind where one is left penniless in the end.

my simple rule is this, if i ask someone out, that means i am ready to shell the bucks. but that doesn't mean that if i was asked out myself, i won't share. let's just say that i try my best not to make paying an awkward moment.

now break-ups are a different story, at least in my case. i know each of us has our own coping mechanisms but mine doesn't seem to be a very nice one for i tend to indulge my earnings on things less trivial. and mind you, these are not the usual things.

right after my first one, i bought an ipod touch which i surely enjoyed, that is, initially. after a few days, i found myself singing to the tunes of emo love songs and the freaking ipod found its way to the bottom of my desk drawer. i got a playstation portable after that and my nights became filled with games all gruesome and bloody.

during my second break-up, my fascination with gadgets has again emerged and my wallet has been deeply scratched after buying this laptop which i am using at this very moment. though i consider this one a good buy, the reason for buying is still a little bit questionable.

my last one has been, by far, the most damaging in the pockets. this is probably because i invested a lot of emotions into the relationship that it required a huge deal to compensate for the blows that i received (no pun intended). after making sure that my finances are stable, i bought a car.

with all these in hand, i am now enjoying singlehood and relishing the freedom that comes with it. with every twists and turns and forks in the road, i learn to keep myself intact and traverse the highways less travelled. but as cynical as i may have become, i still hope for the day that i will slow down to a halt and open the front seat door to that stranger whom forever is not only a dream in the dark.

because break-ups are not cheap.


***

at the end of the day, material things are not enough to suppress the longing to be with someone whom you will call your own. it heals the bruises of the ego but not the punctures of the heart...

13 comments:

  1. hahaha.. nice. i wish i could buy din a car. haha.. buti na lang di ako mahilig sa gadgets..

    yup breakup is not cheap, you lost people who were once irreplaceable.

    why irreplaceable, because we gave them or we received from them something that can't be returned: time

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    off topic:

    ano ang eksaktong ibig sabihin ng "forks in the road" nabasa/narinig ko na kasi ito dati

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  2. "at the end of the day, material things are not enough to suppress the longing to be with someone whom you will call your own."

    I agree. Nice post John! =)

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  3. I wish I could buy a car just like you. But then again I can't and I don't drive. Hehehe =)

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  4. if that is the case, i cant afford a break-up. hahaha

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  5. I celebrate blog monthsaries to remember the day I set myself free. Your mechanisms are quite, very difficult to match. Hehehe.

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  6. there is nothing cheap when it comes to matters of the heart...

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  7. reaction sa comment mo:

    nice.. hmmnn you wanna fly pala..

    base sa sagot mo, it is either mataas ang iyong mga pangarap or idealistic kang tao. nice.

    ala lang natuwa ako sa meaning nung fork in stuck in the road

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  8. Why do I get a feeling that you're spending and break ups are coincidental?

    Imagine the day you found the one. Wouldn't you want to buy a house with him? Or maybe go touring?

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  9. @dabo: i agree. aside from all the emotions, time is another investment lost in the process.

    off topic: galing mo talaga sa profiling. by the way, i hope to see that metaphor in your future posts.

    @mr. scheez: i'm pretty sure one day you will =) and when it comes, sakay mo ko, ha?

    @trip: i hope you wouldn't need to go through one, hehehe.

    @mugen: and your mechanism is quite effective, it seems.

    @the geek: probably there is one thing - when you're in love, you don't need to spend a dime to make you happy.

    @niel: the ridiculous spending comes after the break-up, i don't understand why. =)

    buying a house and touring around are part of the dream but i guess i have to find him first.

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  10. hahaha. i couldn't agree more...

    masasaktan ka na nga lang, hindi mo pa gagawing bongga... kawawa naman tayo nun kung ganun!

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  11. Dude I say Amen to you,though in my case books....

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  12. ibang level ang coping mechanism mo koya. hehehe. :) more than buying things, i hope you emotionally recovered from said breakups. i myself went through several of em.

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  13. weird as it may sound yeah i do understand you..though i cant compete with your shopping spree(hehe) i know what it feels like to buy something for yourself just to compensate for the pain,,in short para may mapaglibangan ka..
    though at the end of the day you still find out that no matter what those things can never ever heal the wound in your heart..

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