my straight friends would often complain of how expensive it is to keep relationships - dinner at nice restaurants, drive around to far places, and the regular night-outs, not to mention keeping track of all the important dates and burying their minds on which gifts are appropriate with what occasions.
while this is particularly true to all valiant males who would not let their girls pay for a piece of the pie, the best thing about gay relationships is that both guys are on equal footing. of course, i am referring to that symbiotic relationship which is mutualism, not the predator-prey kind where one is left penniless in the end.
my simple rule is this, if i ask someone out, that means i am ready to shell the bucks. but that doesn't mean that if i was asked out myself, i won't share. let's just say that i try my best not to make paying an awkward moment.
now break-ups are a different story, at least in my case. i know each of us has our own coping mechanisms but mine doesn't seem to be a very nice one for i tend to indulge my earnings on things less trivial. and mind you, these are not the usual things.
right after my first one, i bought an ipod touch which i surely enjoyed, that is, initially. after a few days, i found myself singing to the tunes of emo love songs and the freaking ipod found its way to the bottom of my desk drawer. i got a playstation portable after that and my nights became filled with games all gruesome and bloody.
during my second break-up, my fascination with gadgets has again emerged and my wallet has been deeply scratched after buying this laptop which i am using at this very moment. though i consider this one a good buy, the reason for buying is still a little bit questionable.
my last one has been, by far, the most damaging in the pockets. this is probably because i invested a lot of emotions into the relationship that it required a huge deal to compensate for the blows that i received (no pun intended). after making sure that my finances are stable, i bought a car.
with all these in hand, i am now enjoying singlehood and relishing the freedom that comes with it. with every twists and turns and forks in the road, i learn to keep myself intact and traverse the highways less travelled. but as cynical as i may have become, i still hope for the day that i will slow down to a halt and open the front seat door to that stranger whom forever is not only a dream in the dark.
because break-ups are not cheap.
at the end of the day, material things are not enough to suppress the longing to be with someone whom you will call your own. it heals the bruises of the ego but not the punctures of the heart...