Thursday, January 15, 2009

trailing thoughts

you handed me a silver necklace bearing the initials of our first names. then, you took out something from your bag, yes, the black one you always carry; the one you can't leave home without. a big tin can it is and i know that design. i opened the cover and inside, the stuffed bear sits silently, clutching a red heart that will soon be broken into shattered pieces.

i blame the cold weather for the icy chill feeling. and the bloggers as well, for opening again a series of thoughts i would have wanted to leave behind. such is the effect of the frosty winds and enduring love stories; taking you back to times when memories become permanently etched in the chambers of your heart.

i waited for you in that small piece of paradise, hoping that you will allow me one last glimpse before i leave. in a few days, we won't be seeing each other anymore. for how long, i really don't know. i gave in to your request. you told me it is for the better. how can it be when it hurts so much? i handed you my watch, leaving us to time and fate.

the brush of cold winds takes us back to yesterday, reminiscing the ones who were, treasuring the ones who are and wondering about the ones who will be. happy and painful memories they were yet we chose to keep them, pondering at times, thinking if one small decision could have changed the course of destiny.

i travelled a thousand and one miles to be with you. months has passed already and i'm not sure what to expect. i followed my heart and came to your doorstep, for the first time uncertain, not trusting if my judgment was correct. you seemed happy. i can see it in your eyes. and from the reflections of the bright lights, i saw your future without me by your side.

trails of thoughts ended and we are reminded of the present. the moment has passed and we are brought back to reality, the cold reality, that right here, right now, in the coldness of the air, in the stillness of the surroundings, in the silence of the night, beneath the dark skies, we are still alone.

i imagine you from afar, the stranger whose face i am yet to see, the voice i am yet to hear. indeed, life is a big uncertainty and brave are those who face it with heads up high.

but as hopefuls believe, the right time will come and in that crossroad we will meet. together we will draw the future, allowing if possible, no margin of error, we will chart our direction in the wide seas of tomorrow.

then heaven will smile from above.


***

somebody told me that men are emotional in the night. i believe him.

2 comments:

  1. I am emotional when I'm all alone.

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  2. lonely nights are, well, lonely. the sunny morning after the lonely night is more heartbreaking.

    ReplyDelete