Sunday, January 18, 2009

uncertain

my night has started again.

saying goodbye to the hassles of work once more, i prepared myself for the long journey ahead. to which direction i am going to take, i am not sure. i long resolved not to consider my destination for it is the voyage that is important. good thing zoom-zoom is in top shape. i had him checked a few months ago; my trusty piece of metal, my ticket to the world of unknown territories.

tonight, like any other nights before, i take this journey alone. as the cold winds brush my face, a fountain of memories started to pour from my inner being, hazy at first but slowly growing, enveloping me from within. the scenes are repeating right before my very eyes and right now, i am both the actor and the audience, carefully studying the puzzles of this thing i call my life.

i see myself in a familiar road, where, for the last few instances, i opted not to take. i smell fear, fear of uncertainty, as a series of what-could-haves crossed my horizon. i was not prepared for this sudden surge of longing. lately, i've been forcing myself to believe that this stuff is not important, that i am already beyond such. i was wrong.

because i caught a glimpse of my stranger.

and i took a quick step, for my heart overshadowed the best of my decisions. now, as i look at myself from afar, i realized that, in the ways of the world, i am not as wise as i thought i would be. i was reminded of the younger me, one who would face the risk without hesitation, even if it means putting myself in a difficult situation.

but what's done is done. as i approach the same terrain where the web of lights once blurred my vision, i fully understood the weight hanging on my shoulders.

that what i'm feeling right now is more important than what i am thinking. this time, i will trust again my heart to come up with a better judgment.

i will wait for my stranger.

as i continue to descend the dark road towards a destination still unknown, one thing is certain in my mind. early in the morning i will return to this same spot and wait for the sunrise. for looming in the horizon may be the answer to my dreams,

it could be a promise of a better tomorrow

or the dawn may let all romantic notions vanish into thin air.

either way, i will be ready.



***

stan took a big step and on his ground, he stands firm...

5 comments:

  1. yes, indeed be ready. for who knows what tomorrow will bring. learn to cushion your heart tho, from potential aches that might meet you and zoom zoom along the way. goodluck.

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  2. we always thought what we felt are simple.

    let's wait and see..terrain and sunset sounds familiar lately, if im not mistaken, ive read it somewhere in blogosphere..i cant remember

    to be ready.. what nice words of comfort... to live gently and bravely

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  3. The longing, haaay. Ganyan din ako minsan.

    Let us be ready. =)

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  4. just seize and enjoy the moment, my friend. but be conscious of what is up ahead. tingin ko yun and formula sa happy life. pero mas tingin ko, no matter where life takes you, nakang naka yan ni mr. former-SC president. hehehe

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  5. someteimes, we are waiting at the wrong time...or we just don't wait...

    maybe he was the one waiting once the sun sets...

    either way, pls be ready....

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