i can't help but notice that this subject is one of those hot topics that single men talk about. in a recent party that i attended, part of the "getting to know you" conversation revolves around the ex-es. knowing for a fact that most, if not all, the people who went there are single, i bet no one will contradict me for saying that there is no fool-proof formula in keeping a relationship stable.
but first thing first. let me reiterate that this is not a valentine post. the love month is almost halfway and the prospect of snagging a date by then is far down below in my priority list. in fact, i have already booked zoom and myself to go to the hot air balloon festival at clark.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that this entry is a celebration of my past relationships. i assure you, they weren't many but all of them took major roles in shaping me to be the better person that i am now. so how can you be angry with these people whom, once in your life, you offered your heart?
in my case, i remember every detail and i am not sure if its good. most of the time, people has this notion that i am having difficulty moving on because everything i experienced before are still fresh memories. so why do i hold on to them?
because every second shared were time well spent.
letting go of the memories would mean turning my back to people who became a part of me.
turning my back would mean regretting the decisions i have made in the past.
on the contrary, i think that the best indication that one has moved on is when you're able to re-live the memories without feeling the aches and the pains; when you can look into his eyes and thank him for the love that you shared, even if its just for a fleeting moment.
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bert, six years ago, walking out on you that fateful day in tagaytay was the bravest thing i did. realizing for a fact that our love for each other is not enough to cross borders, ending what we have is probably the wisest decision i made then. one day, i hope to visit iloilo again and see you, perhaps even thank you. after all, you were the first person who made me feel special.
vince, you introduced me to your family and they have accepted our relationship no matter how different it may be. too bad i was not able to do the same for you. up to this time, i really have no idea why you even thought that you're not good for me. i have always told you then that i am just plain ordinary, that what made me unique and special was you loving me. but i guess that wasn't enough to assure us of a happy ending.
eric, we met under unconventional circumstances and yet we found love. i never doubted that. we experienced a lot of firsts together and you know how proud i am of your achievements in life. with you, i learned to find happiness in little things and treasure what i have. we were each other's safe haven then yet we always know how to make each other cry. be a good lawyer, no, be an honest lawyer. you know what i mean.
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love is a puzzle that needs to be solved and there is no such thing as failed relationships. the people we meet in the past prepare us for that one true love in our future. so what we learned from them we should nurture, cherish the memories, right all the wrongs. so that when the right one comes along, he will be the final piece of the puzzle
and all search will be over.
i told myself i won't be writing a love-related entry this month but the urge got the best of me. the february mood made me ponder about them who were once i called mine. but unlike before, reminiscing about them now only puts up an honest smile and an earnest hope that wherever they may be, i hope they also learned from me.