and it all came back in an instant.
with just one sentence, you were able to awaken a part of me from deep slumber. i thought i lost him already, his memories, little by little, fading away.
but i was wrong.
because within me, he's still very much alive, moving within the dark corners of myself, waiting for the time to reclaim what is rightfully his.
and it has to be now.
i can vividly remember that night.
i was watching the city from my usual spot when i received a message from you. normally, i'd pay no attention to it but the thought of you setting aside a portion of your time with friends compelled me to reply. what follows after is an exchange of messages worthy of shakespeare's little black book. long ago, the messages had been deleted but the words continued to echo as if etched on eastern air.
and then you dropped the invitation.
you wanted to meet up, perhaps to give a face to that one person you shared much of your time with through texting and instant messaging. i was hesitant at first. maybe because i see you as a complex being. you are very good at this game, a game that i intended not to play. but i liked you. in fact, for quite a time. you turned the tables on me. and i, i said yes.
thirty minutes later, you found yourself sliding in the front seat of my car. a few minutes more and we were on top of my terrain, looking down towards a full view of the city lights. it was a first for me. never before did i share this space with someone else. but you were special. like the bright lights, i hoped to find a connection. i thought i saw a flicker but now i can never be sure.
within an hour, we were able to open up a part of our lives to each other. you were definitely more than what you write, that i am sure of. and with that you gained my respect and admiration.
but fate had other plans. we ended up as friends...
you know the end of our story, no regrets whatsoever for this is far better than the ending i envisioned.
tonight, barely nine months after that night, i look back at my triumphs and failures. i look back at the crossroads i encountered. i look back at the choices i made. but more importantly, with the wealth of understanding i was able to gather in my voyage, i look forward to a more hopeful future, however slightly it may be.
i stand under the night skies, bathing with the same lights with one thing i'm sure of,
my journey towards self-rediscovery ends here... tonight.