Tuesday, October 27, 2009

usapang "for adults only"

had i not bump again with him at the locker room tonight, i would not have written this entry.

you see, there's this yummy hunk from the gym who caught my fancy a few months back - cute chinito, broad shoulders, six-pack abs, to-die-for arms. in fact, he looks like one of those dieux du stade boys (except that they're french); really hot especially with his huge tattoo in his right shoulder going to his back.

apparently, he knew my trainer and thus, we exchange nods from time to time. we haven't engaged in any conversation though, not even about our respective gym routines.

anyway, after finishing my sets last sunday, i decided to get a massage somewhere in quezon city. dead tired from my circuit training, i resolved not to do any hanky-panky at the spa. it's all in the mind, i tell you. pwede yun. kahit anong haplos, hindi ka titigasan.

i was waiting at the lounge when i saw yummy hunk. at first, i thought he was a client as well but then i noticed he's wearing the spa's uniform. hmmm, i cannot help but grin.

"siya kaya ang masseur ko?", i asked myself.

i smiled at him as he approach me. he smiled back. i knew it, we recognized each other.

"ngayon lang kita nakita dito, ah.", he said.

"first time ko dito."

a lie. but he'll never know that.

we proceeded to the vip room where i had my swedish massage. as expected, he touched me in sensitive places. but i had a strong resolve. hindi ngayon.

"e-extra ka?", he whispered after.

"meron ba dito? 'di ba class a spa kayo?", i asked, feigning innocence.

"pwede naman. wala lang makakaalam.", he replied.

yummy hunk, my long-time gym crush. hmmm... but i promised myself i won't play tonight. yes i won't play. but who says i can't have a little fun?

"malaki ba 'yan?", i asked.

"hawakan mo."

so i did. hmmm... dakila.

"may i see?", i asked again, pushing my luck.

he pulled down his pants and underwear, finally revealing all.

"teka, bakit galit na yan?"

"sabik na e. mukhang type ka."

tinamaan yata ang loko. amputa, kawalang gana!

"thanks. pero next time na lang. pagod ako e, katatapos ko lang mag-circuit."

"sige na, mabilis lang naman 'to. ako na bahala."

"next time na lang, promise, babalik ako. request kita."

"sigurado yan, ha?"

"oo. nakikita mo naman ako sa gym e. teka, ano nga pala pangalan mo?"


butch na butch. kakaloka!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

first time

ganun pala yun. nakakakaba. nakakahiya. nakaka-excite. at kung anu-ano pang halu-halong emosyon.

maginaw. mainit. mas mainit pa. huhupa. maliligo. magbibihis.

"una ka na."

pagkatapos ng kalahating oras. ako naman.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

naisip ko lang

minsan nangarap akong maging masaya

pero ang pangarap palang ito ay isang malaking kalokohan

dahil hindi ko pala alam kung ano ang tunay na makapagpapasaya sa akin...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

the one who got away

don’t blame yourself. it’s not your fault. you made it clear since then. it’s me who doesn’t want to accept. this is why i am saying goodbye. sa pagkakataong ito, ako naman ang magpapaalam. i’d have to do this, if only to heal the pain that i’m feeling in my heart. i know there will come a time that i would be able to accept the fact that we’re not meant to be together. i am someone who doesn’t believe in destiny because we create our own paths. but in this particular instance, maybe it’s true that we’re not meant for each other…

- an excerpt from a friendster message dated november 2007

naalala kong balikan ang sulat na 'to matapos kong basahin ang iyong mensahe. siguro kahit kaunti ay aaminin kong ginulo mong muli ang isip ko. kung bakit matapos ang halos dalawang taon ay nais mong muling ibalik ang dati, hindi ko na gustong pag-usapan pa ang dahilan. malamang kung hindi ka naghintay ng ganun katagal, baka pwede pa. pero sa paglipas ng panahon, marami nang nangyari at marami na ring nagbago.

huli na dahil ang dating john stan na kilala mo ay wala na...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

zooming a year after

my baby and i has just turned one.

it was the same day last year when i picked you up at sm marikina. you were supposed to be delivered at my place but i decided to just meet up with my agent so i could take you for a ride.

i still remember when i stepped into the parking lot. i can already see you from afar, your shiny red frame gleaming from the reflection of the night lights. excitement overwhelmed me, like a virgin moments before his first fuck. that night, we had our first journey together - a twenty kilometer-ride ending in one explosive orgasm.

one year after, we celebrate our ups and downs together. every inch of you tells a story, of successes and failures, of victories and defeats. you became a witness to my transformation, a close friend in time of deep solitude. you became a test of my patience, too. remember when i changed a tire while parked precariously in a zigzag road on the way to the south? damn you! (lambing lang.)

pero in fairness, ang tibay mo. hindi ka man lang nagasgasan 'nung sinubukan nating testingin kung matibay 'yung fortuner. galing!

but kidding aside, i know i made the right decision when i chose you. and for that, i promise to keep you within the family, for as long as you can. don't worry, after two years, i'll get you all pimped up - new spoilers, wrap-around skirting, fancy lights, all that stuff. but you'll stay red.

in the future, i know a few will still come but don't fret. because nothing can change this one fact,

you'll always be my zoom-zoom.


after one year, zoom is still "clean", if you know what i mean.

Monday, October 5, 2009

pokpok phone series | rebirth

pok.pok.phone (pök.pök.föwn), noun. a special device used for speedy booking, sometimes dubbed by many as "the greatest invention" of the last century.

i have a business phone. i use it for business. i have a pokpok phone. i use it for pleasure.

my pokpok phone made its first appearance in a previous post. but since we are dealing with a major setback then, that supposed encounter did not materialize. however, i just want to make it clear that this phone is not being used very often; only for emergencies where the body is willing but no available target in sight.

the phone first served its purpose about three weeks ago when i negotiated an encounter with this guy living somewhere in pasig. good thing the messages are still here, all thanks to its large internal memory.

pokpok phone: san ka?

pasigboy: pasig. malapit sa lrt station. ikaw?

pokpok phone: i'm in libis right now. want me to come over?

pasigboy: sure. trip tayo sa roof-top.

pokpok phone: haven't tried that before. game! be there in fifteen minutes.

about an hour after the deed was done,

pasigboy: hope you got home safe.

pokpok phone: hu u?

i say cruel. just plain cruel.

Friday, October 2, 2009


and it all came back in an instant.

with just one sentence, you were able to awaken a part of me from deep slumber. i thought i lost him already, his memories, little by little, fading away.

but i was wrong.

because within me, he's still very much alive, moving within the dark corners of myself, waiting for the time to reclaim what is rightfully his.

and it has to be now.

i can vividly remember that night.

i was watching the city from my usual spot when i received a message from you. normally, i'd pay no attention to it but the thought of you setting aside a portion of your time with friends compelled me to reply. what follows after is an exchange of messages worthy of shakespeare's little black book. long ago, the messages had been deleted but the words continued to echo as if etched on eastern air.

and then you dropped the invitation.

you wanted to meet up, perhaps to give a face to that one person you shared much of your time with through texting and instant messaging. i was hesitant at first. maybe because i see you as a complex being. you are very good at this game, a game that i intended not to play. but i liked you. in fact, for quite a time. you turned the tables on me. and i, i said yes.

thirty minutes later, you found yourself sliding in the front seat of my car. a few minutes more and we were on top of my terrain, looking down towards a full view of the city lights. it was a first for me. never before did i share this space with someone else. but you were special. like the bright lights, i hoped to find a connection. i thought i saw a flicker but now i can never be sure.

within an hour, we were able to open up a part of our lives to each other. you were definitely more than what you write, that i am sure of. and with that you gained my respect and admiration.

but fate had other plans. we ended up as friends...

you know the end of our story, no regrets whatsoever for this is far better than the ending i envisioned.

tonight, barely nine months after that night, i look back at my triumphs and failures. i look back at the crossroads i encountered. i look back at the choices i made. but more importantly, with the wealth of understanding i was able to gather in my voyage, i look forward to a more hopeful future, however slightly it may be.

i stand under the night skies, bathing with the same lights with one thing i'm sure of,

my journey towards self-rediscovery ends here... tonight.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

baklang post

pagod na ko.

i've been doing 16-hour duty everyday since sunday, all for trying to rehabilitate a flooded system. kasama na dito 'yung pagpapala ng putik sa loob ng mga control rooms.

lahat ito kelangang gawin para sa trabaho, otherwise, baka sa isang buwan e umuwi na lang ako sa amin at magsaka. paano ko na lang susuportahan ang mga boylets ko niyan? (choz!)

anyway, as of today, one week na 'kong hindi lumalabas ng planta. nakalimutan ko na kung ano ang hitsura ng maynila. nakalimutan ko na rin ang hitsura ng mga boys diyan kasi naman araw-araw e puro sweaty "ers" ang kasama ko dito. keri na din. kahit paano e meron namang nakakatawag ng aking pansin. pandesal kung pandesal ang labanan, mga sis.

pero naloka ever ako 'nung isang gabi. nagkukutingting ng panel ang beauty ko ng biglang tumunog ang nyelpown. syempre, mega-excited kasi naman wala akong masyadong balita sa outside world.

kaya lang, kagulat-gulat ang message. hindi ko inaasahan. ano naman ang akala niya sa akin?

ako na may busilak at malinis na kalooban...

ako na hindi alam ang kahulugan ng salitang malisya...

ako na certified virgin...

at pagkatapos 'kong mahimasmasan, sinagot ng aking utak ang sarili kong tanong.

"carinderia. isa kang carinderiang bukas sa lahat ng gustong pumasok... anytime."


i told you, the storm had a different effect on me. damn you, ondoy.