Thursday, November 26, 2009

monsters among us

as of press time, fifty-seven bodies were already recovered. some of them mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, colleagues, friends. and the whole nation grieves for their death.

***

Mangudadatu said the body of his murdered wife had been horrifyingly mutilated and that his dead sister and aunt had both been pregnant.

"We can't call him an animal because I have pets and they are tame. No, he is a monster. They are monsters," Mangudadatu told reporters, referring to Ampatuan Jr. and his gunmen.

"My wife's private parts were slashed four times, after which they fired a bullet into it," he added.

"They speared both of her eyes, shot both her breasts, cut off her feet, fired into her mouth. I could not begin to describe the manner by which they treated her."

***

the perpetrators do not deserve to live. for no reason is enough to take someone else's life. but this time, i say these people deserve to die.


for their mere acts prove that monsters do exist among us.



credits: inquirer.net

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

fast forward | new year's eve

for the sixth time in the last six years, john stan will be welcoming the new year alone, literally. usually, he'll just have an early dinner and afterwards go to bed. he'll try to sleep amidst the deafening noises of firecrackers outside. he'll put down his navy blue curtains and allow darkness to envelope his room. unmindful of the cheers and greetings from friends and family, he'll let sleep conquer his inner consciousness.

but he promised himself that this year would be different. true, he will still be celebrating alone but this time, he will indeed, celebrate. he has every reason to since john stan has already reached the zenith of his goals and aspirations that he has set for himself. for now, he will allow himself to bask into the feeling of contentment for he knows that such feelings are fleeting. the new year comes with fresh challenges and higher ambitions and in order for him to be truly ready for that, he must let himself take a break from it all and ponder about his actions and decisions.

so what are his plans for new year's eve?

he'll probably get off from work by five in the afternoon so he'll just drive directly to his pad in the metro. he's gonna have a quick shower and change into his gym clothes. before he goes out, he'll put this bottle of wine that he bought days before in the refrigerator to chill. he figures he's gonna be out for about two to three hours so he thinks that's just fine.

he will then go his gym just across his building and finish his routine for the day. on his way home, he'll pass by this nice restaurant and order take-out. yes, he knows it sucks, but that's the best thing he could come up with at the last minute. you see, cooking hates him. or was it the other way around?

it will then be around ten by the time he gets home. he'll pace around his pad wondering what to do and contemplating whether to push through with his plans or just decide to call it a night. he'll open the television and check the stations to see which areas in the metro will be holding countdown parties and fireworks displays. in the end, he will decide to continue with his plans since everything is already set.

with his thick blanket and small pillow, his bottle of wine, his food and his laptop, he'll go upstairs to the open pool area at the thirty first floor. he'll pull one of those lounging chairs to the side facing the southern skyline. he'll find the best view, of course, because by midnight, this horizon will light up with an intricate display of flashing radiance from the fireworks.

he'll play some soft music from his laptop, just enough to relax his mind from the pressures of the day. he'd probably start nibbling on his food now and would have finished his first glass of wine. but by this time, his thoughts would have been wandering as well and with midnight approaching slowly, he'd start to get sleepy.

the surroundings are now getting colder so he'll pull his thick blanket over him. he'll feel the heaviness in his eyes and starts to close them. with music still in the background, he'll slowly drift towards dreamland.

soon he'll wake up moments later only to realize that twelve o'clock passed without him noticing.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

ow, may rainbow

even mother nature is against me.

or at least with what i'm doing siguro.

i was on my home walking when tiny droplets of water starts to fall down from the sky. but i guess the weather has not yet made up its mind whether to unleash its fury or just stay as it is and the ambon eventually stopped. however, as it did, an apparition appeared right in front of me.



yes, a freakin' rainbow. as i stared intently, i started to hear a voice inside my head. it was dimples'. creepy.

bakla ka!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

gago rin si john stan

pasintabi sa mga bata, medyo mahalay ang entry na 'to. medyo lang naman.

matagal-tagal na rin pala ang huling post ko. pasensya na at nasa kalagitnaan lang ako ng isang eksperimento. at alam nyo naman, kapag nag-experiment ka, dapat, buong atensyon mo nakatutok dun.

ilang buwan na ang nakakaraan, inumpisahan ko ang project wellness ni john stan. simple lang naman ang goal ko: to lose weight and build muscle. kaso mahirap pala kapag sineryoso mo; bawas sa kain, bawas sa alak, bawas sa gimmicks at dagdag-oras sa gym.

and it seems the hard work is paying off. i am now five pounds short of my initial goal for the first six months. e limang buwan pa lang naman. o di ba, bongga? (sorry, sinaniban lang!)

pero hindi naman tungkol sa aking exercise regimen ang entry na ito.

find-a-trophy-boyfriend experiment. 'yan ang tawag ko sa ilang series ng trials (and errors) na ginawa ko ng isang linggo. teka, gusto ko lang linawin. hindi ko naman sila talaga balak syota-in. kaya nga "find" lang. pero ano ba ang trophy boyfriend? in the wise words of one blogger that i look up to, pang-display. 'yun lang.

lunes ng gabi ng makilala ko si cainta hunk; maputi, matangkad at higit sa lahat, bottom. ayos na sana, 'wag lang magsasalita. mahahalata mo kasi na hindi siya straight sa boses pa lang. gayunpaman, pasado na rin. performer kasi. kaso binigyan pa ko ng alalahanin ni cainta hunk. kinabukasan, nag-text siya sa akin, sabi, "miss na kita".

martes naman kami nagkita ni las piñas cutie. in fairness, cute naman talaga. kaso nagsinungaling ang bata. disinueve pa lang pala sa tunay na buhay. bigla tuloy ako napa-tweet ng "willing to swap". walang kumagat kaya ako din ang sumalo. nakakahiya naman, nanggaling pa ng las piñas.

wednesday ako napadpad ng santolan sa pasig. ilang araw na rin kaming magkausap ni ofw daddy from dubai. bakasyon daw siya ng isang buwan sa trabaho at wala raw masyadong magawa kaya naghahanap ng happenings. kaso mo, mahirap hanapan ng oras kasi available lang si daddy kapag tulog na ang misis niya. at dahil pamilyadong tao, maraming restrictions. kaya lahat ng dapat maganap ay naganap lang sa garahe nila. bawal pa tuloy mag-ingay.

dapat magpapahinga lang ako ng thursday kaso pagkatapos kong mag-gym e naisipan kong dumaan sa metrowalk para kumain. nasa starbucks ako nun at kasalukuyang nakikipagkulitan sa isang blogger nang um-enter si 6'2" hottie. towering ang loko kaya hindi pwedeng hindi mapansin. pero dahil nag-iisa lang siya, hindi mahirap diskartehan. kaya sorry ternie kung iniwan kita that time.

kahapon, byernes, nagkita ulet kami ni cubao boytoy. nakipag-break na pala siya sa girlfriend niya at kasalukuyang sumusubok na mag-explore. hala, sana hindi ko kasalanan 'yun.

so far, among the five of them, kay cubao boytoy pa din ang vote ko. but for the mean time, the experiment will be taking a break indefinitely. masyado akong napagod kaya kelangan munang magpahinga.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

chinitos, beware! (says mcvie)

stalker-mode ako kahapon.

paano ba naman e talagang makalaglag boxers sa lakas ng appeal sa akin 'nung nakita ko. napapasok tuloy ako sa astrovision (oi, plugging na 'yan, ha!) para lang masundan ko si pogi. kesehodang kasama pa niya ang nanay niya, wala pa rin akong pakialam. bakit ba? sabi nga, lakasan lang ng loob.

ang nakapagtataka, chinito si pogi. ang alam ko, wala akong kahilig-hilig sa mga chinito. oops, bago mag-react, may kanya-kanya po tayo ng tipo. nagkataon lang na hindi sila pasok sa listahan ko. pero 'nung nakita ko si pogi, hala, biglang nagliwanag ang mundo, humuni ang mga ibon, at napasayaw ako habang kumakanta ng "the hills are alive with the sound of music".

at kung gano katagal ang mag-nanay sa loob ng tindahan, ganun din ako. for souvenir's sake, pinilit kong kunan ng litrato. partida pa 'yan, madami kasing tao. mahirap na at baka mahalata.













shet, kinikilig talaga. nakakatawa. parang high school.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

coming out... sort of | part two

coming out... sort of | part one

simply put, i kissed a girl and i liked it. however, i kissed a boy too, and i liked it even better.

of course, i never knew about that.


at least, not until i met bert.


***

yes, that's his real name.

but there are tons of berts in this world that it is unlikely anyone of you knows him so what's the point of hiding. well, ask me his family name and i'll just keep my mouth shut.

so where was i?

ah yes, i was a virgin before bert; with guys, that is. i first met him in manila when i attended a student conference. he is the head of this organization in a famous university from the south. but they do have a house in fort bonifacio where his father is assigned. oh, by the way, he is the son of a general.

have you ever had this experience of liking one person even on the first time of meeting them? i guess that's what happened to us. we barely knew each other and yet we instantly hit it off. we'd attend sessions together and even take our meal breaks at the same time. other times, we'd sneak out from the lecture hall and just go out and stroll around. that's what we did for five days.

of course, we continued to be in contact with each other even after that event. we'd update each other about what's going on with our lives. he'd tell me of his scheduled trips to manila hoping that i would be able to meet with him. but i never did. i never had the time.

but then came december and i was invited to attend another convention in cebu. i sent him a message asking if he's coming as well. he replied that he is so we decided to arrive together so that we will be billeted in the same room. problem is, we came late and we were assigned a suite with a double-sized bed. awkward indeed, but we considered each other close friends so i guess it's fine to us both. plus, we really never had any other choice.

now, let me make it clear. i don't have any problems with guys sleeping together in one bed as long as we do just that, sleep. it concerns me, however, when the guy you're sleeping with had his hard-on poking your behind. it happened on our fourth night. i told him about it and bert said that he was just teasing to which i said was not a good joke.

we barely spoke on our last day. i was silent the whole time but i can sense that he wants to apologize. he managed to do so over lunch. i told him that i don't want us to part ways in bad terms.

we were both flying back morning of the next day so we went to bed early that night. i was about to doze off to dreamland when i felt his hands caressing my arms. as if this is not enough, i felt him move closer to me. and then, that familiar hard-on again.

without saying a word, i got up from the bed, ready to walk away. but as i did, he got up quickly as well and hug me tightly, my back against him.

i heard his uneasy breathing near my ears. and then a whisper.

"i've been wanting to do this for the longest time."


to be continued...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

kristian

"you don't need someone to have sex with. what you need is someone to talk to."

***

it was almost one in the morning when we decided to meet. i was not really up for any hook-ups last night that's why i declined two invitations earlier in the evening. but i figured that since i will be passing by your place on my way home, i'd just drop by to see if you were indeed the image that you are trying to project.

we had a funny set up. we never exchanged photos, not even phone numbers. the rule is simple. we'd both be on the agreed place at the agreed time and will only be waiting for five minutes should any one of us is late. it's fear i guess. we live in bordering communities and there is a big chance that we might know each other.

***

fifteen minutes after meeting up, we found ourselves inside a small room. but i sense hesitation on your part. i couldn't help but wonder since just a few minutes before, you were so persistent to take me to bed. well, you never really had a hard time convincing me. you're hot. you have all the things i'm looking for in a random fuck. and i obliged.

still, i can sense that something is troubling you. so i asked. it was then that you told me the whole story.

***

you have a model for a partner and your relationship is on the rocks. after five years together, you want to get out. but you don't know how to break the news to him for you yourself do not really understand the reason behind your ill-feelings. that's why you're doing this. you wanted to fool around and you wanted him to know that you are fooling around so that when he finds out, he has a reason to leave you. yes, that would be too convenient on your part.

however, with your story, i've felt a certain sadness from you. it seems that you are still not sold to the idea of letting him go. with that, whatever fire within me has been extinguished. it's just not right to take advantage of your situation.

"you don't need someone to have sex with. what you need is someone to talk to."

and thus, we talked more about you. we talked about how you started. we talked about your good times together. as each story unfolds, i see your doubts slowly fading away. i see hope in your eyes once more.

***

it was almost four in the morning. as we bid each other goodbye, i can only hope that what we did inside that small room will make a big impact on your decisions. after all, you owe it to me. i gave up on a good fuck in exchange for a warm hug.

Monday, November 9, 2009

coming out... sort of | part one

to those of you who are fans of the fabcasters, yes, i am johnny.

and to those of you who are my facebook friends, yes again, that's her.

come to think of it, dating girls is not really new to me. i have had three girlfriends before i decided to jump over the fence. and no, i am not your regular college jock back then but i had my fair share of wild abandon with girls whose names i barely remember.

i never had any so-called dramatic tragic past that made me what i am right now. i am the eldest of two siblings, the younger one, a girl. but i grew up with straight cousins. we would play straight boys' games, pick on nerdy kids and fight until our noses bleed.

growing up, i found myself enlisting in rotc, joining a fraternity, making a name in quiz bowl competitions (read: including battle of the brains; so 90's) and building a career in student politics while at the same time maintaining my status as an ace student. funny, i never really understand it then but it seems i am already attracting people unintentionally.

secret crushes, love notes, indirect date invitations... tsk, tsk, tsk.

then came senior year and i was at the top of my game. i was with my girlfriend of one year, fresh from my victory in a national quiz competition, student council head and gearing up to ensure graduation with latin honors when things started moving towards another direction.

simply put, i kissed a girl and i liked it. however, i kissed a boy too, and i liked it even better.

of course, i never knew about that.

at least, not until i met bert.


to be continued...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

barrio life

dahil nauna na si mike sa kanyang buhay-probinsya post, i will just let the photos do much of the talking.






































after five years, i was able to come back to this place. and just like before, even without the indulgence of modern technology, i enjoyed every moment of my stay. though life is relatively simple here, you can never say that people are not happy. in fact, some of them were saying that there's no other place they would want to be other than their bukid.

indeed, in the end, it is how we live our lives that defines our happiness.


***

i have one photo of myself topless in tattered jeans, wearing salakot, riding a kabaw (carabao in local dialect) and looking every bit a local. for souvenir's sake, i say.