Friday, February 26, 2010

when my aphorisms hit me

in a comment i made in iurico's entry, nagulat din ako sa aking nagsusumeryosong aphorism.

"i don't see anything wrong with giving the best we can to the person we love the most."

studying closely what i wrote, i just came out with one realization:

kaya pala kung anu-ano ang pinagbibibili ko para sa sarili ko,

i love myself the most, hahaha!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

susko, pinoy nga naman!

i chanced upon this photo as i was flipping through every website that can and will supposedly take me out of my "inaantok" mode.

in fairness, bumenta!

photocredits: facebook, origin unknown

Monday, February 22, 2010

running, racing and my tarnished image

it seems that more and more gay guys are getting into the running habit. it was very evident in the last few runs that i attended. not that i'm complaining though. it feels good to see them occasionally checking me out, what with me wearing my short shorts, singlet and sporting my brown skin.

anyway, i was checking the globe run for home event page at facebook this morning to see the runners who will be joining. there are about five hundred in there already and i must admit, there are a bunch of eye candies among them. being the curious cat that i am, i opened the profiles of those cuties who are connected to me. funny because all our connections can be traced to our plu friends. i swear, cute straight guys are seriously endangered.

oh well, hanggang tingin na lang naman ako. seloso ang partner.


i promised myself that i will start training for the half-marathon once i get a sub-one hour finish in my 10k race. happy because i did it already at the century tuna run last sunday with a 00:58:11 finish time. to jumpstart my training (actually, to force myself to go with it), all travel and accommodation requirements for the camsur and singapore marathon (september and december, respectively) have already been settled.

sana lang makapag-training, otherwise maglilibot lang ako doon. at shopping.


obviously, wala akong magawa. i skipped gym tonight because my legs are still tired. but i decided to pass my time lounging here in a coffee shop just outside my gym. i was on the phone earlier, talking to ternie and his friend. i was teasing ternie that since i'm all alone and has nothing better to do, maghahanap na lang ako ng booking.

to which he replied, "ikaw pa, e may Ph.D. ka na nga sa booking!".

hahaha, kailan ba maibabangon ang reputasyon ko?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

the very good friend

early this morning, i brought partner to the hospital. his body temperature soared up to 38.9 and he's quite alarmed. his fever has been on and off for the last three days even if he's taking the proper medications.

after almost thirty minutes in the emergency room, his mom arrived. since both of us are very much straight as far as our families are concerned, i was introduced as his "very good friend". oh well, i guess that's how it's gonna be for now.

knowing he's already settled, i had to bid them goodbye. as much as i want to stay, i wouldn't want his mom to think that there's something going on under her nose. partner's ok with it.

i just hope that when all the tests are done, i will hear the good news.

for now, all i can do is wait.

Monday, February 15, 2010

hearts and balloons | the sequel

just when i'm about to enter dreamland, i felt his hand in my arms softly shaking me. it was already two in the morning and we have to leave in one hour to make sure we catch the morning balloon flight. realizing that he can't wake me up that easily (as i was still pretending to be asleep), he planted soft kisses on my forehead; tracing my nose before finally ending at my lips.


now insert the juicy story here, use your imagination.

but i want to assure you, we still made it to the hot air balloon fiesta.



and no post-valentine greetings to you, guys. baka masaksak ako!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

hearts and balloons

i never really go out on dates during valentines'. what's so special about this day anyway? i see no point of doing something you can do any other time of the year. it's all advertising, i tell you.

but yes, for some crazy reason, i do have a date. and being the hopeless romantic that i pretend to be, i actually spent some time to plan it, used all my tricks to pull-out a surprise in a very short time.

a hot-air balloon ride...

see you at the philippine international hot air balloon fiesta.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

plu ka kung...

i must admit, kahit na mahilig akong mag-observe sa kilos ng mga tao, mahina pa din ang gaydar ko. kadalasan, nagkakamali pa rin ako sa pagtingin kung sino ba sa mga nakakasalubong ko ang plu at kung sino ang hindi.

unless of course somebody falls under the stereotype, mahirap hulihin ang isang plu lalo na kung siya ay talagang nagtatago. pero minsan naman, mayroon ding tinatawag na dead give-aways. at kahit anong pilit na ikubli ang tunay na pagkatao,

ang angking kagandahan ay kusang lumulutang.

kaya tara, share-share tayo ng mga palatandaan.

so how do you spot one (or a bunch)?

let us complete this sentence. "plu ka kung...".

i'll go first.

"plu ka kung kumukulot ang boses mo."

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

taking a bow

i have always been telling myself that i don't need to make my own mistakes to learn, but in the end, it is when you learn from your own experience that you truly understand.

unlike many of you, my new beginning did not start on the first month of the year. hell, i don't even know if it will start any day soon. but i'm trying. deeply. hard. what matters for now is that i was able to finally allow the lessons to sink in.

clueless, huh? i bet not.

i've been spending a lot of alone time lately that i was able to dissect what happened to me in the past few months. i know; it was not very good. and i see many heads nodding in agreement. as one friend puts it, there were times that you, guys, thought i metamorphosed badly. i couldn't blame you. john stan has been bad. really really bad.

for the longest time, i allowed myself to be in control of every situation. i always think ahead as regards to outcomes and possibilities. that's why, when confronted with critical circumstances, i always bring on the table the best options, if not, the most acceptable ones. the concepts of right and wrong do not change and whatever decision i make, i always try to at least make sure it favors what is right and proper.

but i am not a saint.

and when i allow my innately human nature to take charge, i cannot always promise to do the right things. thus, the transformation you saw is only a glimpse of how wicked i can become. i can do worse, i assure you. for i have been there. i let go of my own rules to experience the true, the good, and the beautiful. selfish as it may seem, it was me giving myself a break. i'm sure some of you would understand that.

so to all of you who were in the receiving end of my lapses in judgment, i deeply apologize.

to all of you who, in one way or another, have been affected by my behavior, i am sorry.

i do not wish to make any more promises for i might break them in the end. for now, i guess i'll be finding peace in solitude, continue roaming the dark roads for elusive answers, hoping to go back to what i once was, but this time, wiser, more compassionate, better.

john stan will start waiting for sunrise again.

and when zoom returns,
you're free as a bird...

- galen

severing ties

it has been going on like this for months now. i never paid that much attention to your actions knowing that you have your freedom to act the way you wanted to. still, what puzzles me most is the fact that i am not aware of any reason for our falling out. that, or maybe i'm just too insensitive and full of myself. well frankly, i don't care anymore. to each his own.

i consider you one of my friends; one of the closest, in fact. most of the things about me, you know of. but if keeping my secrets burden you, by all means, go and never look back. you have your great company now. go and enjoy.

i am not a fan of reaching out especially to those people i knew i never wronged. if i did something bad to you, i'll make amends. but you dropped me just like that.

i handle things my way, did so for the last fifteen years of my life. people come and go in the picture. so there's no use grieving for lost friendships. if you can call it that.

after all, as far as my insensitive self understands, friends do not judge each other.


i can be a bitch, too. watch me.