Saturday, August 7, 2010

caring no more

i guess at some point, you get very mad that whatever happens in the future, you started to care no more. and with that, i just want to say that i'm taking back my word - nakakasawa na rin pala!

here i am trying to be the better me and then i find out that all this time, he did not trust me fully. ganoon pala 'yun? nakakagago pala when you realize the fact na lahat ng actions mo pinagdududahan; that every time he opens my laptop, he's searching for something that would prove his allegations; that every time he has my phone, he's looking for something that would incriminate me.

fuck!

tapos kapag nagtatalo kami parang ako pa ang laging may kasalanan to the point that i will ask for forgiveness even if i did not do anything wrong. shit! all the while i was thinking that it would be for the better not to engage into any argument. all the while i was thinking that i am being more mature and considerate not to entertain bad thoughts. hell, i was very very wrong!

one year of knowing each other and yet hindi pa rin pala kami talaga magkakilala. nine months into the relationship and it would still come to this - petty issues still result to huge misunderstandings.

and it's all really because of trust.

and i'm really really starting not to care anymore.

13 comments:

  1. John Stan, This is something you two should work.

    Insecurities are bound to fill one's mind with deceit and doubt.

    This, of course did not start with him and you being committed. This started when maybe, he had loved and lost because of infidelity.

    Who knows?

    For now, consider yourself one of the few committed people who try to make compromises but please, try not to apologize too much...

    Hope to see you later!

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  2. this saddens me. sana maayos pa.

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  3. Echoing Guyrony and Aris, hope you two could still make it work.

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  4. When things fall apart, you have your friends and your blog to pick up the pieces of you.

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  5. kayang ayusin yan! don't let go the feelings...

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  6. Does he want a "certification of Johnstan's guaranteed fidelity" from your friends? Because if so, I'm willing to write one right now and submit it to him.

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  7. agree ako sa kanila, kayang-kaya pag usapan yan. walang perfect relationship ayusin ang dapat ayusin.

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  8. Now, john stan.

    You're not supposed to be battling until Year 2.

    The Terrible Twos aka The More You Love Someone The More You Want To Kill Him.

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  9. di mawawala ang ganyan, just hold on...

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  10. ting! that's what ***** is always telling me.

    nakakahiya mang aminin, but am the other end of your story. thank you for this john stanley. its like a wake up all.

    anyway, i sincerely hope you guys can still patch things up. keep holding on -the song goes.

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  11. oh no. :( hope you guys still patch things up.

    but when one starts to lose himself in a relationship, hmm, time to start thinking what happens next i suppose.

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