Tuesday, August 31, 2010

revelations | part 2

...and like any other person with whom such truth had been hidden, he's not very pleased.

and why would he be?

this blog is a testament of my wicked ways. at best, it illustrates the string of emotions and personalities i can conjure to justify all the actions i did in the past. true, our happiest of times were celebrated in many entries. but along the same line, the blog outwardly spoke of my faults, if not deceits.

yes, jason read it all and i distinctly remember the pain that evidently lingers in his eyes. and the fact that he really truly loves me intensifies that pain, reverberating in his inner being, taking so much of his strength as he tries to contain it from coming out.

i was lost for words. i hated myself. it pains me to see him suffering. a punch straight in the gut would have been better for i would have endured it more. but this one, this one is different. and the sad truth slapped me right smack on the face - i don't want to lose the guy but it seems, that is were we're heading.

at that point, i see jason driven to the wall, and i, i could only hope for the best.


  1. 'Teh, I'd like to think that I somehow know you but, yes, for the record, I have never seen this side of John Stanley (guys). Let's chat soon, I'll give you a major major wake up call.

  2. Give him time, John Stanley. And like you said, hope for the best.

    For now, no use for self-flagellation. You don't owe anyone an apology or an explanation.

    Someone once told me, "Never explain yourself: Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it."

    I'm not sure if the same applies to relationships. I have a strong feeling it does.

    Hoping for the best, too.