Tuesday, November 30, 2010

tax na naman


paano pa sa susunod na pay-out when the 13th month pay will be given?

kung sino pa 'yung single, 'yung walang mga dependents na nakikinabang sa basic services ng gobyero, siya pa ang malaki ang tax.

makapag-anak na nga lang ng marami. kaso lang pareho kami ni jason na walang matris.

hay, life is so freaking unfair!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

changing seasons

not too long ago, john stan came out of the closet and offered these words,

ngayon, kung sasabihin kong nagkakagusto ako sa kapwa ko lalake, anong tawag mo sa akin?

lalake. dahil yun ang sabi ng doktor. dahil yun ang nakasulat sa aking birth certificate. dahil yun ang alam kong dapat itawag sa sarili ko.

ako si stan. 'yan ang pangalang bumuo ng aking pagkatao.

ako si stan, november 2008

o 'di ba ang seryoso lang? that was how my initial entries went. maybe because i opened my blog during the time na emo-emohan ang drama ko. at dahil it took me months before i decided to meet other bloggers, akala tuloy nila "thundercats" na ko.

in most of my encounters with fellow bloggers, the first thing i am asked about is my age. it seems that my blog leaves the impression that i'm quite old already. rather than get insulted, i am really pleased that you guys think i write mature, if that is the case. wait, i hope that's the case.

random facts, february 2009

like many of you, i had my shares of defeats. and for someone who relies on himself for everything, it was never too easy.

tunay ngang sumasalamin ang bagay na ito sa kung anuman ang nagaganap sa aking kasalukuyan. binigyang buhay ko ang what happens next upang palayain ang aking isipan sa mga katanungang hindi ko kayang sagutin at mga katotohanang hindi ko masasasabi sa iba. ngunit sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, naligaw ako ng daan tungo sa aking kahapon. at muling nabuhay ang pag-aalinlangan.

a "ultimate" farewell, february 2009

but i was able to rise above every adversary. i guess, when driven to the wall, you can always find the strength needed to face even your greatest fears.

from then on, i was able to suppress the urge to write. a lot has happened in the days that passed but i kept my silence, that is, until now...

... when i did understand that some things come about because they just do and, like everything else, they too, shall pass.

or so i thought, march 2009

with this i blog, i met some awesome people who became such very good friends. and even if we do not see each other regularly, we always find ways to exchange "chismis" from time to time.

and everytime i hear the song, this little episode comes to mind. indeed, we are all fans of spice girls whether we admit it or not. we even jokingly tagged one another with our very own aliases. too bad there were only four of us then.

stop right now, may 2009

of course, we cannot have the best of everything. i guess, some friendships are not meant to be and in the end, there's really no choice but to say goodbye.

i consider you one of my friends; one of the closest, in fact. most of the things about me, you know of. but if keeping my secrets burden you, by all means, go and never look back. you have your great company now. go and enjoy.

severing ties, february 2010

after reading this blog again, i realized it's been one heck of a rollercoaster ride. ang daming climax, ang daming nabuong stories. mga kwentong nagsanga-sanga, mga kwentong hindi na natuldukan pa.

and within the centerpiece lies the real me; that part of me that i decided to share with you; that part of me that not even my closest of friends has ever seen or will ever know of. for every entry celebrates the colorful life that i have. and yes, it was beyond their wildest dreams.

i guess, only time can tell if they will ever find out these things about me. or for that matter, about me and my partner.

i remember writing before my hiatus that the plan is to build what was nearly destroyed. i guess, introducing john stan to jason is one big step towards achieving that goal. now, all my cards lay bare and i am only too glad that amid all the things he found out, he has accepted me, flaws and all. silly me for asking him why.

"love.", he says.

revelations | part 3, september 2010

indeed, writing this blog has been a good long journey. it was so enjoyable that i didn't immediately realize it's been two years already. i grew older and grew up in front of all of you. syet, nakakahiya! echos lang.

as i continue my way through life, i want to thank everyone who's been a part of these wonderful years. kung wala kayo, wala rin akong fans, mwahaha! mehel kow keyow! *sandara wave*

now let me introduce myself again.

i am john stan and welcome to my world.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

competition, compassion

is setting a new personal record more important than helping a runner in need?

for the nth time, i ran the half-marathon at run united 2 held at the fort early saturday morning. even with little training due to a very loaded work schedule, i was feeling better about this race. but this is still 21 kilometers so i have to be really really careful.

"it's gonna be a great day.", i told myself.

minutes before race time, i found out that about three-fourths of the runners are first-time half-marathoners. i guess that explains the sea of reactions you can see in their faces. a few cannot hide their excitement while others look like they do not know what they had gotten themselves into. many are extremely nervous, a few of them doing the sign of the cross. but as the countdown to start begins, everyone wore their game faces.

the first part of the race was a breeze. going around bonifacio high street and towards british school pose no threat to someone who runs regularly. and since the race started at 5:10 in the morning, the cool atmosphere was just perfect for everyone.

but it ends there.

because both buendia flyover and bayani road are included in the route and will surely test everyone's limits.

i was on my 15th kilometer when i noticed several people stopping, pain evident in their faces. as much as i can, i gave words of encouragement to those i pass by. but then i realized, would that be enough?

and then i remember my first half-marathon a few months ago when i encountered muscle cramps a few kilometers before the finish line. more than the pain in my legs, what hurts me more was the fact that i have the spirit, i have the drive but my legs just won't move. aside from that, what added to the frustration was that runners who were behind me earlier in the race were already passing by me.

but yes, there were also a few who stopped and offered help. there was this lady who offered medicines. there was this guy who taught me how to stretch my leg muscles properly. and then there was this old man who walked with me a few meters before the finish line.

and so i decided to stop as well. to every person i pass by who needed that push. i know i am just one but i hope that my little gesture will show them that my type of running is not all about competition and personal records; that there is compassion in this sport; that there's still fun in "fun run". i learned it from those runners who became my angels and help me get that very first medal i have.

anyway, i can always beat my record on another day.

perhaps in singapore next month.

Monday, November 15, 2010

fruity me

no more shopping for me this december. i wish.

sabi ko pa naman, i'll splurge on my singapore trip. pero dahil ako na ang adik, hindi na ko nakapaghintay pa.

my 2010 goals has just been realized.

because my apple family is already complete.

syet, ang gastos lang!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

day 1 | anniversary

of course, by now, you must have guessed what this countdown is all about.

i can't believe it's been a year already. looking back, there were a lot of ups and downs. there were a lot of twists and turns. there were a lot of bumps and blocks.

but there's a whole lot more to be thankful for.

and as everyday passes, i knew it in my heart.

i am loving him more and more.

Friday, November 12, 2010

day 2 | hot air balloons

i can still remember that day.

a day we both hold dear.

it was our first trip together.

and though our journey started months back,

it was then that i told myself - he's the one.

the only one.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

day 3 | banchetto nights

by now, most of you must have heard about banchetto.

every friday at around 12 midnight, a part of f. ortigas road, formerly emerald avenue, is being closed to traffic and converted to a pseudo-marketplace, offering different kinds of food for the late sleepers and night workers. here, you can find almost anything you're craving for and, if you're a beki at heart, you'll sometimes get lucky and spot a few eye-candies.

as friday is our official date day, jason and i go to banchetto for midnight snack. o di ba, katakawan talaga?

it's either pasta, cake, or crepe, depende kung ano ang feel naming kainin. pero syempre, hindi mawawala sa order ang hungarian sausage at schublig! masarap kaya, lalo na kung medyo spicy.

minsan naman, kapag tinoyo kami, we buy from the "hepa" lane. ano yun? eto 'yung area na ang mga tinitinda ay barbecue, betamax, adidas, kwek-kwek at kung anu-ano pang tinuhog-tuhog. pero bihira naman. mahirap na, afraid!

of course, more than the eating part, the fun is in staying late and waiting for banchetto to open. sobrang dami kasing tao na nag-uunahan lalo na kapag breaktime sa mga call centers. at kapag maraming gwapo, it's definitely better dahil siksikan sa daan. believe it or not, may hipuang nagaganp, choz!

pero syempre, sa isang gwapo lang naman nakatutok ang mata ko. sa asawa ko lang.

iba pa rin ang tinitingnan sa tinititigan.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

day 4 | baguio getaway

baguio was not our first out-of-town trip together but it turned out to be one of the most relaxing getaway we've had. the place, with its nice scenery and cold weather, provided the much-needed respite from the hassles of work and life in busy manila.

i guess it was correct decision to leave zoom-zoom behind. for one, i was able to sleep the whole time that we were on the bus, my hand holding jason's who's also sleeping beside me. paano ko nalaman 'to? feeling ko lang!

anyway, it was raining in baguio when we arrived at our hotel. sa totoo lang, wala kaming kaplano-plano when we went there. even the trip was not well-planned. nagkataon lang na nagtugma ang schedule naming dalawa so we decided to go away for a while.

kaya hayun, tamang food trip at palibot-libot na lang. it was only a one-nighter that's why we tried to make the most of that very short break. multitasking nga ang drama namin. isipin mo na lang, nagsusulat ako sa blog, kumakain, nanonood kami ng tv at nag-oh-oh-yeah moments all at the same time. oh dabah, ang saya!

after dinner, we decided to walk around the city with one thing in mind - maghanap ng gay bar. it was another spur-of-the-moment decision. hindi pa kasi kami pareho nakakapasok sa ganoong lugar at wala naman kami sa manila kaya most likely, walang makakakilala sa amin. yup, we decided na magpakabeki that night.

pero susko, nakapag-half-marathon na kami sa kalalakad e wala pa kaming nakikita. or maybe we were looking at the wrong places (i hate you, utopia-asia!). ang ending, sa hotel pa rin at nakatulog sa pagod ang dalawang bakla!

we woke up late the following day and enjoyed the king-sized bed even further. sulit kung sulit.

aba e, uuwe na kami in a few hours kaya kailangang makarami!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

day 5 | meeting friends

i am referring to blogger friends, of course. right now, i still can't imagine introducing jason to my college and work buddies because doing so will definitely raise some eyebrows.

there were about three occasions already that i brought jason to and each one had been a good experience for him. shy and silent he is, i know, but that doesn't mean that he did not enjoy his company. he was just like that. sabi ko naman sa inyo, hindi 'yun sanay sa maraming bading. lalo na 'yung maraming maiingay na bading.

he was first introduced to my closest blogger buds during my birthday dinner. i can still remember his apprehension about meeting them, fearing that he may have had met them before when he was still, hmmmm, enjoying his singlehood. i did manage to convince him though but he had to go home a bit early since he had no sleep yet.

the second time was when migs invited us to join them for a lunch treat at the asilo de san vicente de paul in manila. it was one of our best dates ever and jason enjoyed it very much because he adores kids. he was even caught on video feeding this little guy and his smile was really priceless.

the last occasion was when gibbs and joel invited me for late night dessert at chocolate fire. it was also migs' despedida then and i brought jason along to meet them once more and to surprise gibbs who, for the longest time, had been bugging me for introductions (bleh!). admittedly, we became one of the hot topics discussed that night, all thanks to a recent issue i got tangled in. (negative vibes, shoo!)

of course, i had my share of meeting some of jason's friends as well. in fairness, kasundo ko sila, ha! it just shows that i am not as snob as others think.

then again, maldita naman talaga ko paminsan-minsan!

Monday, November 8, 2010

day 6 | happy meals

oh god, drained ako today!

ume-effort pa naman ako sa aking 12-day countdown tapos halfway through it e bigla pa yata akong mahinhinto. very promising pa naman ang topic ko - food.

oo na, lately kasi e wala kaming ginawa ng asawa ko kundi kumain. kebs na sa calories. bawi na lang sa gym at exercise the following day.

among the places we've tried, i guess belonging to the most memorable were:

1. leslie's tagaytay - dahil pinagtiyagaan naming ubusin ang isang full serving ng special bulalo habang pa-sway-sway dahil sa malakas na hangin ang aming maliit na kubo.

2. old spaghetti house antipolo - dahil bumobongga kami sa pagkain ng pasta habang bumabagyo at me pa-view-view pa kunwari ng overlooking e puro ulan naman ang nakikita.

3. cafe by the ruins baguio city - dahil, for the first time, i ate like a goat dahil puro dahon, bulaklak at halaman lang ang laman ng plato ko.

and so far, ang planong dusit crossover buffet, spirals at circles ay hanggang plano pa rin because for sure, ito na ang magiging "the height" ng aming katakawan.

but admittedly, what i love most are our simple meals at home. kahit fastfood delivery pa ito, walang ka-proble-problema.

because as long as i share it with jason,

every meal is a wonder.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

day 7 | cinema lovers

i clearly remember the first movie that we saw. we were still dating then when the time traveller's wife opened to an eager audience. after enduring the long queue at the ticket booth, we were told that there were no more available adjacent seats for that night's final screening. at dahil pumila na kami ng matagal, keri na rin kahit di kami magkatabi. parang ewan lang.

enjoy naman kahit paano. at bakit nga hindi? with eric bana shirtless and almost nude in every scene, we definitely got our money's worth. haha, charing! ang babaw lang.

anyway, that movie started our love story with eastwood cinema. pero hindi kami stick to one. we also had an affair with gate(gay)way cinema and robinson's movieworld. awa ng diyos, hindi naman kami nahipuan sa gayway. hindi rin namin nakita 'yung malaking ahas na nagngangalang robinson.

our love for movies brought us closer together. i guess it helps that we have the same taste pagdating sa pelikula. and we are not the discriminating moviegoer. kahit bakya, papatusin namin. case in point - vice ganda's petrang kabayo.

but in fairness, nakiliti naman kami kahit konti. ay teka, nagkilitian pala kami talaga!

what happened in that movie na nga pala?

Saturday, November 6, 2010

day 8 | baby talk

come to think of it, this, probably, is the height of our kakesohan. everytime we talk, we manage to squeeze in our own "baby language". like this morning when i dropped him off in his apartment on my way to work.

jason: text me when you get to work, ok?

johnstan: yup, yup. sleep well mamaya, ha?

jason: opo. sino wab mo?

johnstan: jayjay (his nickname) lang wabwab ko.

jason: e sino wabwab ng jayjay?

johnstan: present (hands raised)!

jason: (embracing me) johnstan ko to eh!

johnstan: (embracing him too) jayjay ko to, eh!

jason: pashok ka na po, baka ma-late ka.

johnstan: otei, awabu!

jason: awabu more. mami-mish kita!

cheesy, no?

okay, you can throw up now.

i promise i won't get mad.

Friday, November 5, 2010

day 9 | not always smooth sailing

just like any normal couple (yes, with emphasis on the word "normal"), jason and i go through our ups and downs. i'm pretty sure some of you would remember my rants in this blog. those were times that i couldn't contain myself anymore and expressing myself in my pages is the only avenue i have in releasing my bad vibes.

still, i would have to admit that oftentimes, our disagreements are partly my fault. for one, patience is not really one of my virtues and there are many instances that i get irritated very easily. such would trigger a heated exchange of words with one of us walking out in the end. but as weeks and months pass, we learn to cope up with each other's behavior, or should i say, jason has learned to be more patient with me.

and many times, his patience was really tested.

i believe the first major fight we had was when i went to bed (the bar) without him knowing. truth be told, i did not go there looking for some hot action. it's just that i was invited by a blogger friend who came home from singapore.

i am most certain that he won't find out about that night, however, two days after, a few of our photos surfaced in facebook. it seems that blogger friend and jason had this photographer as common friend. hayun tuloy, huli. walang kalusot-lusot!

of course, we managed to surpass that incident but the biggest blow (no pun intended) on our relationship was when this blog was revealed. jason found out all my kalokohan and he was most upset when he discovered that i met up with an -ex. we almost called it quits right then. good thing clearer heads and open hearts prevailed in the end.

so you see, our relationship is far from perfect. in fact, a lot of times, we tread on dangerous roads.

but we get by.

with a lot of love and understanding.

and a sincere hope that every road block we face strengthens us more, keep us together, towards our journey to forever.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

day 10 | breakfast dates

firstly, i am not advertising anything.

i guess, one major drawback of working in opposite times is that our schedules seldom meet. i work on daytimes and jason does so in the night. this is why we are very careful in planning our activities especially since i am only off from work once a week. (oh, lucky me! ugh.)

friday is our official sex date day as we are both off on that day, however, as much as possible, we try to look for ways to meet up in between. at first, it might seem impossible considering the time and place but we found a manageable solution to it - breakfast dates.

and so, we meet at least twice a week for breakfast. of course, timing is crucial. it has to be between six to six-thirty. jason goes home at five, give or take 30 minutes. i, on the other hand, needs to be at work by eight; an hour of travel included.

and the place? the ever so trusty chow king at the corner of p. tuazon and 20th avenue.

funny. many of the staff there know us already. the minute we enter the place, the cashier manning the counter already knows our order. i admit, it's always the same food every time, plus a few add-ons when we're really hungry.

and jason and i have the same taste in food. kaya laging pareho kami - yang chow fried rice topped with pork siomai, kangkong, tokwa, and pineapple juice. omnomnom!

of course, it doesn't end there. there's still dessert inside the car.

oh you know what i mean!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

day 11 | gabby

if ever i'm gonna have a pet, i want a puppy. a chowchow, perhaps.

but i don't want a dog!

wait, puppies are dogs.

yes, but they are cute little dogs.

i can't bear the big ones. afraid!

jason, on the other hand, likes them. in fact, he has a mini-pincher named gabby whom he loves dearly. i wish i have his patience, else, i would have thrown that little devil out of the window at the slightest provocation.

see, ang arte lang 'di ba?

buti na lang love ko 'yung may-ari!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

day 12 | love stories

i never thought i could find treasures at pinoyexchange. i enlisted in that site recently and started reading stories in the alternative preferences pages. right now, i am hooked with matinee idol and the chronicle of a desolate.

some may find them too mushy but i really like the way they were written. is it my romantic self coming out? or is it because i have my own love story unfolding right before my eyes?


i'm not sure.

i don't know.

but whatever it is, there's only jason to blame.