ngayon, kung sasabihin kong nagkakagusto ako sa kapwa ko lalake, anong tawag mo sa akin?
lalake. dahil yun ang sabi ng doktor. dahil yun ang nakasulat sa aking birth certificate. dahil yun ang alam kong dapat itawag sa sarili ko.
ako si stan. 'yan ang pangalang bumuo ng aking pagkatao.
ako si stan, november 2008
o 'di ba ang seryoso lang? that was how my initial entries went. maybe because i opened my blog during the time na emo-emohan ang drama ko. at dahil it took me months before i decided to meet other bloggers, akala tuloy nila "thundercats" na ko.
in most of my encounters with fellow bloggers, the first thing i am asked about is my age. it seems that my blog leaves the impression that i'm quite old already. rather than get insulted, i am really pleased that you guys think i write mature, if that is the case. wait, i hope that's the case.
random facts, february 2009
like many of you, i had my shares of defeats. and for someone who relies on himself for everything, it was never too easy.
tunay ngang sumasalamin ang bagay na ito sa kung anuman ang nagaganap sa aking kasalukuyan. binigyang buhay ko ang what happens next upang palayain ang aking isipan sa mga katanungang hindi ko kayang sagutin at mga katotohanang hindi ko masasasabi sa iba. ngunit sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, naligaw ako ng daan tungo sa aking kahapon. at muling nabuhay ang pag-aalinlangan.
a "ultimate" farewell, february 2009
but i was able to rise above every adversary. i guess, when driven to the wall, you can always find the strength needed to face even your greatest fears.
from then on, i was able to suppress the urge to write. a lot has happened in the days that passed but i kept my silence, that is, until now...
... when i did understand that some things come about because they just do and, like everything else, they too, shall pass.
or so i thought, march 2009
with this i blog, i met some awesome people who became such very good friends. and even if we do not see each other regularly, we always find ways to exchange "chismis" from time to time.
and everytime i hear the song, this little episode comes to mind. indeed, we are all fans of spice girls whether we admit it or not. we even jokingly tagged one another with our very own aliases. too bad there were only four of us then.
stop right now, may 2009
of course, we cannot have the best of everything. i guess, some friendships are not meant to be and in the end, there's really no choice but to say goodbye.
i consider you one of my friends; one of the closest, in fact. most of the things about me, you know of. but if keeping my secrets burden you, by all means, go and never look back. you have your great company now. go and enjoy.
severing ties, february 2010
after reading this blog again, i realized it's been one heck of a rollercoaster ride. ang daming climax, ang daming nabuong stories. mga kwentong nagsanga-sanga, mga kwentong hindi na natuldukan pa.
and within the centerpiece lies the real me; that part of me that i decided to share with you; that part of me that not even my closest of friends has ever seen or will ever know of. for every entry celebrates the colorful life that i have. and yes, it was beyond their wildest dreams.
i guess, only time can tell if they will ever find out these things about me. or for that matter, about me and my partner.
i remember writing before my hiatus that the plan is to build what was nearly destroyed. i guess, introducing john stan to jason is one big step towards achieving that goal. now, all my cards lay bare and i am only too glad that amid all the things he found out, he has accepted me, flaws and all. silly me for asking him why.
"love.", he says.
revelations | part 3, september 2010
indeed, writing this blog has been a good long journey. it was so enjoyable that i didn't immediately realize it's been two years already. i grew older and grew up in front of all of you. syet, nakakahiya! echos lang.
as i continue my way through life, i want to thank everyone who's been a part of these wonderful years. kung wala kayo, wala rin akong fans, mwahaha! mehel kow keyow! *sandara wave*
now let me introduce myself again.
i am john stan and welcome to my world.