Saturday, July 9, 2011

an open letter to noynoy

i know i promised that this month's entries will all be about narcissism, however, pressing concerns require that i stray a little. but don't fret, this one's still about me.

President, Republic of the Philippines
MalacaƱang Palace

Dear Mr. President,

I have celebrated my 28th birthday on April XX, 2011.

I know that it was a precious day and a timely occasion to thank my parents for bringing me into this world, and the Lord for giving me another year.

After checking my finances and finding out that I don't have sufficient funds,

I have decided not to hold a birthday party.

Instead, I made use of my birthday as a day with and for myself, and with my boyfriend. Having been declared, awarded, and honored by my blog contemporaries as the "Guru on M2M Relationships", I am grateful to God that He has made me an instrument in spreading the love among us, especially here in the blogosphere.

I know I can do more to promote and work towards this endeavor.

It is in this view that I am asking a favor from your Excellency.

At present, I really need a brand new SUV, preferably a Mazda CX-9 worth 2.4 Million Pesos, which my boyfriend and I can use to reach the far-flung areas of Luzon.

I hope you will never fail to give me a brand new car which would serve as your birthday gift to me. After all, I have been a loyal supporter of Tita Cory, Kris, and yes, even Bimby.

And I am a taxpayer [unlike others out there].

For your information, I have with me a 2-year old car. But with all the taxes I have paid in my 7-year employment, I could have bought more.

I am anticipating your most favorable response on this regard.

I understand that PCSO is under intense scrutiny lately so maybe you can course your donation through Pagcor.

Thank you very much.

Oh wait!

Be assured of my constant support to your Excellency.

God bless you.


John Stanley


  1. Your letter will be forwarded to Abby Valte. Expect a response from his excellency in a week.


  2. dear john stanley,

    Thank you for your continuous support. attached form for you to fill out as part of government/PCSO protocol. Kindly indicate your tin number and a scanned copy of your latest ITR for verification purposes. Please also make sure to send us a clear picture of you showing your support to my administration, kris and bimby.


    secretary of the office of the president


    ULOL! LOL!

  3. haha, kelan ka pa naging Bishop? hahaha :D