Monday, November 19, 2012

it was perfect

I was driving home last night when this song blared through Zoom's speakers.

My idea of a perfect Christmas
Is to spend it with you
In a party or dinner for two
Anywhere would do

Celebrating the yuletide season
Always lights up our lives
Simple pleasures are made special too
When they're shared with you

O e di ako na ang nag-emo bigla.

I suddenly remembered Christmas of 2011. Yeah, we were together having dinner at this simple restaurant overlooking the city.

It was, indeed, perfect while it lasted.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

what happens next

Today would have been our third anniversary.

And while we have been apart for more than three months already, I can't help but stop for a while and reminisce the love we shared in the past and, probably, think about the "what could have beens" of the future.
I must admit, forgiving you was no mean feat. For I have been true to you - I have shown you the best and worst of me - hoping that by being honest, loyal and true, we will be together until the best and worst of times pass us by. I loved you deeply, perhaps the deepest I have loved.
But I guess that is not enough. And that forever is only wishful thinking.
I remember the broken promises.
I remember the unexplainable situations. And how the simple truth uncovered the unexplained.
Perhaps, I was just too blind to see. Or too blind to accept what's in front of me all along.
Trust, maybe? Or was it fear?
Then again, the answer is not important anymore. Because when I decided to end our relationship, I also decided that there was no more turning back.
Pride? It could be.
After all, I was very much willing to face the consequences of my decision. Come what may.
Yes, there are nights I cry myself to sleep.
But I wake up in the morning loving myself more and more.
So here I am writing this entry today, on what could have been our third anniversary. I could have been in a very difficult situation like before. But I chose to be in the right path.
I chose to be the better person.
And I guess, it's time to ponder again.
What happens next?